The Mountain and The Barbarian
by awesomeness50
Summary: Conan the Barbarian takes the place of Oberyn Martell as Tyrion's fighter and faces of against The Mountain. - Please Note that this is not Jason Momoa/Conan but the classic Conan from the novels. There will not be any Khal Drogo confusion.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any of the characters in this story. They are all property of the respected parties.

_Story takes place over episodes 7 – 8 of season 4._

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><p>Tyrion looks up as he hears his cell door open and the approach of heavy footsteps. Expecting his brother or possibly even Bron, but he draws back as he see's an unrecognisable figure before him. As the figure approaches Tyrion's heart begins to pound as he is confronted by a man standing very well over 6 foot tall with a god like body bronzed muscular body and long flowing black hair but his most interesting feature is his ice blue eyes. The man pulls out a stool to sit down while Tyrion gulps nervously trying to show now signs of fear.<p>

"Crom! You are not the monster as they say you are". Tyrion pauses looking nervously but the man replies "Don't be scared. If I wanted to kill you I would have already" the mysterious man says. Tyrion sits back down and says "What a pity I would have thought that my beloved sister could not wait a day longer to have me killed. But tell me who are you. I don't know your name nor your face but I have the strangest feeling we have met". The man leaned closer and said "My name is Conan. Conan of Cimmeria".

Tyrion paused for a few seconds and said "Cimmeria! But how"? Conan answered "So then you do know about my village. You do know about the slaughter of my people. It was your father that ordered the execution. And so I have lived in your city for weeks now, learning, listening so that I can get my revenge on you Lannister scum".

"So let me guess Cimmerian" Tyrion said. " You offer to free me in exchange for that I help you kill my father. As much as I wish to see his head on a pike that will not be at all possible. Hell we would not even make it halfway down the corridor I can assure you. But I must admit it gives me great pleasure to meet another who hates my family almost as much as I do myself".

Conan laughed and said "You dare speak to me like I am some dumb barbarian! Let me explain something to you Imp. Months ago I was on an adventure of the seas. I sailed to the Iron Islands with my fellow Cimmerians to trade. But they tried to trick us and trade turned into combat. Those fools had clearly never crossed a Cimmerian if they proposed to fight us. When I returned I saw the whole village burned to ashes and nothing but dead bloodied corpses everywhere. I spent hours upon hours searching for a living soul until I finally found one man half breathing. He told me it was the Lion banner the soldiers carried. They stormed our city out of nowhere with horses far as the eye could see all while our warriors were on an expedition".

Tyrion replied "My dear Conan I am awfully sorry to hear this but; "I haven't finished" Conan growled and continued on. "That was not the worst of it. As he lay dying in my arms, Miklos told me of Valeria. Valeria who was to be my wife. She taken by the biggest man on the field. A man they called the Mountain. He told me that the mountain took her against her will. I was not there but I can hear her voice yelling as he beat her till she couldn't move. I was told that once he was done he raped her to his pleasure then finally he killed her. So you see my vengeance will not begin with your father. It will begin with the mountain. I will fight for you and I will kill him".

After a moments pause Tyrion approached Conan and said "I thank you my dear Cimmerian but have you actually seen Ser Gregor Clegane. He is no less then two heads taller than and I have personally seen him rap a man in half. Surely you look like a man of strength but against Ser Gregor you cannot be serious"

Conan stood up and said "I have fought bigger and I have won and I have yet to meet one who can match my skills with the sword". As he left Tyrion awed at Conan's amazing physique and yelled out "At least promise me you'll wear a helmet. And armour".

- Next, the big fight


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own any of the characters in this story. They are all property of the respected parties.

_Story takes place over episodes 7 – 8 of season 4._

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><p>The crowd roared in excitement as Conan entered the arena to confront Ser Gregor Clegane, known as The Mountain. Conan's opponent stood there with a 6 foot blade in hand wearing full body armour and helmet while Conan walked in wearing nothing above his waist showing off his marvellous physical shape. While Ser Gregor was already in the arena ready Conan walked in with his broad sword and as he entered he spun his sword around in circles to the side then over his head and finally ended in a striking warrior pose with sword over his head pointed at his target and the crowd went wild. Conan stared at his opponent with his piercing blue gaze; he was an enormous brutal man to whom Conan would barely reach his shoulder but Conan was not afraid. He had triumphed over bigger and stronger opponents before and he was hell bent to slay the man who had beaten, raped and murdered his beloved Valeria. As The Mountain readied his sword Conan said "Do you know who I am".<p>

"Some dead man" The Mountain growled in reply and descended his sword but Conan evaded spinning around and slashing his sword across which Gregor deflected and then struck again which Conan again evaded. Conan circled The Mountain and said "I am Conan of Cimmeria. Do you remember Valeria" but before he could finish The Mountain came at him again striking forward and Conan blocked the strike with his blade and swiped across with his blade hitting Gregor's armour.

Conan walked back as The Mountain caught his breath and continued "You beat her you dirty son of a dog. Then you raped her. No woman would let you touch her otherwise. And then you killed her, just as I will kill you. But first I want to hear you beg" and charged in swinging his sword overhead which The Mountain blocked then struck another blow which The Mountain blocked again with their swords against each other as they faced one another strength for strength. All the viewers were astounded. Never before had they seen anyone who could match the power of The Mountain and this mysterious Barbarian was nowhere near his size.

As their eyes met Conan growled "Beg. Beg forgiveness and I will end you quickly.". Gregor did not respond but lifted his giant leg and thrust Conan away. Conan rose up with a vicious look in his eye and yelled "Crom" and charged back in. Conan attacked with such speed that The Mountain could not match but his full body armour protected him. In between the sounds of steel on steel everyone could hear Conan yelling "You Beat Her! You Raped Her! You Murdered Her".

In the midst of the sword fighting The Mountain managed to backhand Conan sending him flying back. As the crowd gasped Conan stood up wiping the blood from his lip and said "Not bad monster. But I'll still hear you beg" and went back into the fight. The fight was even as Conan was able to avoid each strike and kept The Mountain at distance while Gregor's armour protected him from Conan's attacks. As they continued Conan came closer but was brought down by The Mountain's giant hand knocking him to the ground. As Conan lay on the floor his opponent raised his sword and with all his might came down hard on the Cimmerian to split him in half.

Conan was quick and held raised his weapon which took the full brunt of the attack but so mighty was Gregor's strike that it bent Conan's sword. Conan stood back on his feet without showing any bother holding a broken sword in hand. The Mountain looked down on him and said "You're going to fight me with that" and Conan simply replied "Not until I hear you beg". The Mountain again raised his sword for a descending blow and as his blade was about to fall Conan yelled out CROM at the top of his lungs then threw his sword to the side and caught Gregor's hands. The Mountain could not bring his arms further down as Conan's strength was equal to his own and as they faced off Conan swept Gregor's foot and stepped to the side as The Mountain came down and his sword hit the ground and his helmet fell off.

As Conan regained his stance The Mountain stood on one with sword in the ground and Conan screamed "BEG" but got only a growl in return and he swiftly kicked the sword out of Gregor's hands and far out of reach. On his hands and knees Gregor reached for his sword but Conan stomped on his hand then took a step back and said "You're brave with a sword and against helpless women. Let's see how you face a Cimmerian without your weapon".

The Mountain screamed in reply "I don't need a weapon to take you Barbarian" and stood towering over Conan. Gregor spread his arms to squeeze the life out of Conan but he was too quick and rolled to the side and shoulder charged The Mountain sending him down and yelled "Why don't you take off your armour and fight me like a man". "I don't answer to you" The Mountain replied as he got up.

Conan stared back at Gregor and pointing at Tywin Lannister yelled "Is that the man who you answer to! Is he the one who sent you to my village where you Beat, Raped and Killed my Valeria". "Shut your bloody mouth" Ser Gregor screamed back and threw a punch at Conan. Conan sidestepped then ducked a backhand from the giant then as The Mountain threw another punch Conan caught his massive fist with both hands and as they faced each other Conan again yelled "BEG" but got no response. Conan twisted Gregors arm bringing him down but The Mountain was still a giant of a man and Conan could not overpower him. Ser Gregor rose up breaking Conans grip and then grabbed him with both arms and slammed him into the ground as the entire audience gasped.

The Mountain pulled Conan by his feet leaving a bloody smear behind Conan's face dragging along the ground. As he walked he yelled "I beat your woman and I raped her. I beat her and raped her and killed her" then grabbed Conan by his black mane and lifted him with both hands as Conan groaned in pain and finally The Mountain yelled "I ripped her in half my massive cock. The look on her face I bet she hadn't had a real cock inside her for a long time Barbarian" but before he could continue Conan grabbed his arms and kicked The Mountain in the face with both feet releasing his grip on him and fell to the ground.

As Gregor fell back he went into a frenzy of rage and tackled Conan to the ground and went to grab the Cimmerian's head. The still dizzy Conan could see the giant hands going to gouge out his eyes and crush his head so with his last strength he pushed against the full force of The Mountain protecting his eyes. "I will crush your skull. The same way I killed her" The Mountain said as he was set to deliver the killing blow.

CROM yelled out Conan pressing against the massive hands of Ser Gregor and twisted his hands back snapping his fingers. The Mountain rolled off Conan onto his back and let out a roar of pain that shook the arena as both men lay on their backs, one screaming in pain while the other caught his breath. The Mountain climbed onto his knees and fell on his hands then let out another cry as his broken fingers hit the ground.

Conan recovered and stood up then walked over to The Mountain and kicked him in the teeth and screamed Beg but received only a spit in his direction. Conan repeated to kicked him screaming "You Beat Her! You Raped Her! You Murdered Her"!. As The Mountain groaned in pain Conan went over to the giant sword his opponent had lost and as he picked up the sword he snarled at Tywin Lannister sitting on his high chair who even though was a far, he could still shook from the ice blue gaze of Conan.

Conan picked up the enormous sword which was almost his entire height and approached The Mountain. "How many innocents died at your blade. How many Cimmerians were slaughtered by this very sword. How Many!" Conan screamed. The Mountain turned to Conan and trying to utter a phrase and finally stuttered "Dumb Bar-Ba-Rian". As the words left his mouth Conan let out a roar and swung the enormous blade and brought it down hacking off Ser Gregor's head leaving a stunned audience.

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><p>As The Mountain's head rolled off his neck the audience stood silent until Tywin stood and announced "The battle is finished. Conan is the victor. Therefore by decree of the law" and paused to look down briefly in defeat then raised his head back up and said "Tyrion Lannister is a free man". A cheer went through until Tywin continued "This man Conan is to be seized and jailed at once". Tyrion looked at his father in shock and screamed "What is this lunacy. Under what charges" but Tywin paid no attention.<p>

As Conan stood in the arena with the giant sword in hand four gold cloaks approached him steadily but as he swung the massive blade they backed off in fear. Tyrion leaped over the fence and ran towards Conan and screamed "You cannot arrest this man. He is in my employ as my new personal bodyguard". Tywin grit his teeth and finally in shame screamed "At ease" and the gold cloaks pulled back. Conan looked down at Tyrion and said "Bodyguard eh. Let's talk gold" and both walked off the battleground.

- Next, final bonus chapter.


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